LOTUS therapist Donna Black, LMT, CMRM, MMP discusses meditation and why people find it so difficult.
Meditation. When people hear this word, they have their own interpretation of this word. Some people say meditation is how they keep their sanity. Some people will say oh no I can’t meditate; I can’t shut my mind off. Some say meditation is religious and it does not work with theirs. Other people say it’s woo woo.
Why does the idea of meditation stress a lot of people out? It is because we live in a society of go Go GO! The thought of stopping and being still is almost terrifying. We have evolved to a society that requires instant gratification. People no longer want to work for things or work on themselves. Somewhere we have lost touch of knowing ourselves. We have created fake versions of ourselves online for all to see and we must get a ton of likes, right? These lives we create must be so detailed that we become detached from our real selves and try to live in our created worlds detached from reality.
Why don’t people want to look at themselves? It is because we are trapped inside our minds. We are either reliving the past or creating a future. We never live in the present and that is why we disappoint ourselves and do not want to look at our-self. People bash themselves over and over about past choices, moments, and events. We do not allow ourselves to move on. Why do we dwell on the past because we cannot change it? Then there is living in our imaginations/future. When we are children, we plan our lives out and playing house or whatever. Then we get a little older and what we wanted to be and where we wanted to go changes. We create a new imagination/future. Then life happens and our plans change, our paths change, and we move outside what we imagined. We then begin to bash ourselves for not doing what we thought we should do. It usually never crosses anyone’s mind that the change in their path was their saving grace. We all want to have a great body but are you willing to go to the gym and change your eating habits? We never ask our selves are we WILLING to do what we must do to achieve this idea of what we want. We never realize that most battles we are battling are ones we have created in ourselves. These are the reasons why we do not want to look at ourselves.
The next great reason is actually a group of reasons: I don’t have time, I can’t quite my mind, I just can’t, or nothing happens. I will tell you these were all excuses of mine. I do not have time is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves. If we added the amount of time, we waste daily we would realize we have more than enough. This statement becomes even more relevant now that we are spending more time at home. Everyone use to have morning or evening commutes that are now filled with something else. One way you could create time is to add the commute time back into your schedule. Go sit in your car for 10-15 minutes in the morning/evening and do a little meditation or breathing exercise. The next reason is I cannot quite my mind or I just can’t. People put to much stress on what meditation looks like. It does not have to be hours of meditation. It can literally be 5 or 10 minutes every other day or maybe just once a week when starting out. It is not about quantity it is about quality. Sitting with yourself for a few quality moments is far more beneficial than sitting there for hours not being present. Focusing on your breath is easy and can be done anywhere. Guided meditation is nice because it’s like listening to a story and allows you to check out and listen.
It does not matter how you got to needing or wanting to do meditation the important thing is you decided to do it. It takes lots and lots of practice. It took me years to learn to meditate and I still struggle from time to time.
When we begin to look inside, we can understand our-selves. We can learn to heal our wounds and learn to find clarity. When we sit with our-selves we can see all the things we learn or were taught that do not serve our highest good. When we sit with our-selves we can find our peace and see our connection to everything bigger than our-selves. When we heal our wounds, we do not pass them on to our children. When we believe in our-selves we show others how to do it. When we show up with nothing up love in our hearts, we get it back 10-fold. When we stop and look within, we also heal our physical bodies, our minds, and soul.
When you sit to meditate think of all the positive things it can bring. Allow yourself to show up for you. Find a group to encourage you. Find a group that inspires you. Find a group that fills you up. There are millions of meditation apps and groups to join, try them all out. Do not settle for just one way, explore all your horizons. When you heal yourself, you begin to be the change in the world.
Donna Black, LMT, CMRM, MMP